“Some things don’t sound like they look.
Others don’t look like they sound.
There are friends who don’t act like friends.
And enemies who’d never dream of hurting anyone.
But do you know what the strangest thing about time and space is?
Your thoughts will never betray you. They will strive to become things. You can change your circumstances on a dime. And where you’ve been, has no bearing on where you can still go.
Zoom, clink, hugs –
The Universe“©Mike Dooley, http://tut.com
You are in control of your own thoughts. If you choose to make them negative, you must assume all outcome due to these negative thoughts, including, but not limited to: depression, sadness, insecurities, concerns, stress and the list goes on and on. When in a relationship, despite past negative experiences, you must never compare the present relationship with the past ones. Everyone is different, so expect different results. It is not uncommon that some may attract toxic relationship because this is what they are used to and never experienced anything different. They are attracted to the same bad boy traits and continue venturing into relationship that will end up the same bad way as it did before. It is hard to determine as to why people make the same mistakes over and over again and expect different results? Perfect definition of insanity.
Every relationship you will encounter in your life will be different in nature, no matter which way you look at it. The key here is to fix yourself first before you jump into something that might leave you harmed and distasteful. If you first change your inner world, learn from the present relationship prior to moving on to the next one, you are sure to learn from it and start looking at relationship with a more positive outlook. Do not expect to change anyone because it will end up biting you in the ass. YOU CAN’T CHANGE ANYONE!!!
Once you accept that, you are on your way to more healthy and successful relationships. Do not forget that we all have insecurities, both men and women, and sharing these insecurities with your significant other is crucial so they know how to make you feel better and help you remove them along the way. Acknowledgment, validation and awareness is crucial to let the other person know that you are there for them. It can be a difficult process to constantly confirm your honesty, your willingness, your motives to make the relationship work with that person but guess what? relationship needs work and constant communication. Their insecurities doesn’t mean they have low self-esteem, it just means that their past relationship have left them with bad memories that needs to be addressed by validating their feelings and make sure they ARE IN GOOD HANDS, just like All-State Insurance company.
Dr. Dan Amzallag, PhD